Dear Papa

I have not as many memories of you,
Of summer afternoons in a park
As I have of mamma and me
And endless hours of scrabble.
But guilty I am, of ignoring
How patiently you waited outside
As mamma and I would debate colours
Over prices, how we would haggle.

I cannot recall, not once
Your interest in my homework
Or, for that matter
Your presence at a PTA meet.
But selfishly I overlooked, that you
Brought home every single summer
My favourite mangoes, so deliciously sweet.

Always tied up you were
In the binds of fraternity and kin
And I never felt you appreciated
My honesty, or recognised my individuality.
But how wrapped was I in
The immature trappings of youth
That I could not look beyond
What I perceived was, insensitivity?

I do not remember your asking me
About my first day in college
About my teachers, "do you like them"?
Or even, "how are your grades?".
But never can I forget, how you
Painstakingly packed my suitcases
How you hugged me and cried
Bid me farewell, at the airport gates.

You were never on my side
You called me a rebel
Never had we, any conversations
But oh arguments there were galore.
Now my heart flips with joy
For I love how much we talk
When I call out to you
Anytime, from any distant shore.

I fell in love, it broke and trampled my heart
And try as I might, I could not think
Of anyone to turn to but you
To pick me up, to help me cope.
You held me long and you held me tight
In your arms so strong. And spoke to me
Like never before. Yes, I remember
Those magical words, of life and of hope.

"I probably never, have told you
In so many words. You my dear are
My pride and happiness, my source of strength
Bear ever in your heart, what I tell you now.
My little girl, for that is what you will always be
Whatever it takes, as long as I live,
No hurt, no pain, not a shadow of gloom
Will I, let crease your brow."

As I lie here, reminiscing years spent
Holding, begrudgingly, against you
Unspoken words, unfulfilled hugs
What a fool I have been, I realize.
My quest for a fairytale father
Ends here, now. For I have found
My knight in shining armor
In the love that shines, in my father's eyes.